Are your daily decisions leading you to the results you actually want in your life?
We make thousands of decisions daily. Small decisions from what to wear and eat, to more important decisions such as what to do with your life or who to have in it. But are your decisions actually leading you towards, or moving you away from what you actually want or desire from your life?
Unfortunately, not many of us are really taught how to make well-informed decisions. I was definitely not; it just felt like I was given the responsibility one day when I was considered old enough by others.
The only problem at the time was, with limited decision making skills I often made my decisions based upon the easiest option and the least pain! As a consequence, I didn't really look at the long term implications of my decisions. I'm not on my own though, many of us are not taught how to make decisions based on what's important and our long term goals.
In the past, with low self-esteem, low expectations, a catalogue of past disappointment and pain, my decision making skills were destined to be poor and self-limiting. Every time I had to make a difficult decision, such as whether to change employers, address other people's toxic behaviour or say no to someone or something, I would go for the choice that gave me the least pain, or so I thought! You know those decisions that make or keep everyone else happy, but yourself!
I didn’t realise that the long-term impact could potentially lose me money, time, family or friends along the way. This naturally lead to a lot of discontentment!
In time, I soon learned that my decisions determined my contentment in life. Admittedly I couldn't change the past, but I could begin to make better decisions based upon what I actually wanted and desired in my life from then on. Rather than the opposite.
I soon began to explore what fears and insecurities were holding me back from living life on my terms and took time to overcome these. Now my decisions are very much based on what I want out of my life and what's important to me (not what will give me less grief from others!). I admit it's not always easy, but guess what? - My life's much more enjoyable than it used to be!
So here are 4 things that you’re probably overlooking, that prevent you from making good decisions;
1. You're not clear on what you want or don't want
Have a vision of how you see yourself and your life - such as what is important to you and what you value. Your vision and values are your guiding star through life, and are what your decisions are based upon!
If you're not clear on this, the decisions you make will not be clear either.
2. You can't see further than tomorrow
Be clear on what and who you want in your life now and in many years to come (think long term). Do you want to live where you are forever, or do you want to move on? Are you happy with those friends that keep taking from you, but not giving back? Do you still want to work at the organisation that doesn't value you and your time and continued effort, or do you want more for your life?
If you're not clear on what you want, take the time to get clear!
3. You don't know how to work out the likely outcome of a decision
Work out what is good and bad about the choices you have attached to the decision you need to make. This will help you to look at the impact of any decision made more closely, and determine potential long term outcomes.
4. You're not nipping your gremlins in the bud.
Become aware of what is holding you back from making decisions that move you towards the life you want. This could be toxic situations, self-limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, other people and so on. Whatever it is, be aware of what is standing in your way, (we all have something) and deal with it!
Okay, I hope that helped, as no one ever said making decisions was easy!
Joking apart though, if any of the above four 'decision stoppers' are holding you back from making good decisions, do yourself a favour and do something about it!
REMEMBER: Making decisions in life based upon what will give you less hassle from others, when not fully explored, will generally come back to bite you on the bum!
Take care of yourself & bye for now
Ursula Wood is a Stress & Resilience Certified-Coach from sunny West Yorkshire, U.K, who works with hardworking individuals who get to a point in their lives where they feel and say "...I can't cope anymore".
She owns her own business called Your Expert Self, which specialises in providing practical stress & resilience coaching-based workshops, resources and support, both in-person and online. Ursula loves the outdoors and can often be found out running or walking, especially in green spaces.